The Polyjuice Incident
by nemoleft
Summary: when a polyjuice potion doesn't wear off, a slytherin and a gryffindor find themselves in opposite places, not to mention anatomies. warning: almost all original characters, takes place after Harry has already graduated. please R&R!
1. coffee and cauldrons

Chapter One  
  
Coffee and Caldrons   
  
It was early morning when Phoebe woke up. She muttered groggily and slipped of bed. Pulling on her altered uniform; she wore pants instead of a skirt; she shuffled over to the bed of one of her friends. Close-eyed and messy haired, she shoved her friend off of the bed.  
  
"Gettup Morgaine!"  
  
Morgaine fell off her bed in a flurry of long limbs and bed sheets; her long, deep brunette hair swirled around her in a dark twister. Pulling herself up, with aid of her bed, she glared at Phoebe.  
  
"Why'd you do that?!"  
  
Phoebe shrugged, brushing short, dark blonde hair out of her eyes; even though her eyes were no more open then she was awake. Through these almost closed eyes, she walked over to another bed, pushing it's occupant out in another flurry of long limbs and bed sheets, only the twister of long hair was a blonde a shade lighter then Phoebe's.  
  
"Gettup Larissa!"  
  
Bleary mumbling came from Larissa as she pulled herself up. Phoebe seemed unconcerned with this as she placed thin glasses on her face, though her eyes were still hardly open. Morgaine and Larissa put their school uniforms, Morgaine muttering dark curses in Phoebe's direction as the shorter girl yawned and ran a brush through her hair, though the short hair hardly responded to it, falling as it would, some parts flipped up, some flipped down. The brush was put down in its utter defeat, Phoebe straightening the Gryffindor tie around her neck, yawning again.  
  
The three girls headed into the empty Great Hall. Well, it was almost empty. Since it was before most students got up, only a few Ravenclaws were there, studying at their table, and a Slytherin boy who seemed to be studying, at least that's what it looked like to Phoebe.  
  
Larissa and Morgaine sat down, but Phoebe scanned the table.  
  
"No coffee."  
  
Morgaine yawned and waved a hand toward the small bell on the table lazily, "You have to ring for coffee Phoebe. A house elf will come."  
  
Phoebe needed coffee, the sweet caffeine boost running through her blood to keep her on her feet and to wake her heart from its slumber. Grabbing for the bell savagely, she rang it with the need of an addict.  
  
A house elf ran up to Phoebe, a grin on its face, "What would Miss like?"  
  
Phoebe resisted the urge to grab the house elf and growl her order. That would get her no coffee. Instead, she put on a charming smile.  
  
"Could you please get me a pot of coffee and a mug please?"  
  
The house elf beamed at her friendly manner and scurried off to get her coffee. Phoebe sat at the table and buried her head in crossed arms, crying. Larissa and Morgaine stared at each other before looking down at their friend.  
  
"What is it Phoebe?"  
  
Phoebe knew they already knew the answer, but gave it anyways, "I'm just so happy that I'm getting my coffee!"  
  
Morgaine rolled her eyes, "You have a serious problem Phoebe, and I think we might have to cut you off."  
  
In a violent manner of a drug addict, Phoebe lifted her arms and grabbed Morgaine's neckline, "Nobody takes my coffee!"  
  
Larissa pulled her off Morgaine, "Alright Phoebe, here it comes."  
  
The house elf walked up grinning, "Blinky remembered Miss liked it with many sugars and just enough cream to turn it light."  
  
Phoebe could have kissed the house elf if it wasn't for the lack of caffeine in her system and the fact that it would be just plain gross. She took the pot and mug in a gracious sweep, pouring the coffee into the mug and downing in with need.  
  
Ahh, sweet coffee, how you are my lifeblood! How empty and bleak my life would be without you! May you always be there to quench my unending passion for thee.  
  
Her eyes shot open, their blue-gray coloration surveying The Great Hall. While her eyes made their daily sweep, she interrogated Morgaine.  
  
"First class?"  
  
"Advanced Potions, double period."  
  
"Blast, anything else?"  
  
"Yeah, we'll be testing the polyjuice potions we've been making."  
  
"Ugh, I hope I don't get paired with a Slytherin."  
  
"Don't we all Larissa, but with Snape, that's what'll happen."  
  
Phoebe's eyes strayed to the Slytherin boy. He was named Richard DeMarcus. His coloration was similar to hers, dark blonde hair, and bluish gray eyes. That was where the similarities ended. The two had never gotten along, preferring to make the others existence as dismal as a world without coffee.  
  
"Hey Phoebe, what are you looking at?"  
  
Phoebe shook herself, downing another mug of coffee, "Nothing Larissa, absolutely nothing."  
  
Morgaine giggled, "You know Phoebe, you're a very nice person, as long as someone doesn't get between you and your coffee."  
  
*** *** ***  
  
Phoebe looked up at Snape from her seat next to Morgaine. The greasy haired head of Slytherin house looked at them all menacingly. His vile temper toward Gryffindor had not improved a bit since Harry Potter had left Hogwarts five-six years ago. Well, that's what Phoebe heard. It was even worse among the Gryffindors good enough to be in the advanced class. Morgaine, Larissa, and herself were the only Gryffindors in his advanced class, well, and Paul, but he didn't count. Other then them, it was mostly Ravenclaws, Slytherins, and one Hufflepuff.  
  
"Each of you will be paired and will test your polyjuice potion on your partner. The partners will be as such...  
  
"Morgaine Turner and Larissa Troy."  
  
Morgaine and Larissa grinned at each other, probably thinking of ways to make a complete fool of the other.  
  
"Conner Summers and Ben Matthews.  
  
"Shayla Culluns and Paul Yeager.  
  
"Phoebe Williams and Richard DeMarcus."  
  
Phoebe's eyes grew wide with shock as they turned to Richard. A smirk that made her want to slap him across the face was in full bloom on his features. She fumed, why should Snape torture her so? What had she done to him?  
  
Snape finished calling out the pairs, and partners quickly got together. Phoebe refused to move, for fear of her lashing out at whatever came near her. Richard watched her for a few minutes, as if waiting, before getting up and walking over to her. He slid into the seat next to her, the one left vacant by Morgaine. Restrain fists of death!  
  
"Well Williams, looks like we're partners."  
  
Snape passed out their potions and beakers. Phoebe muttered a dark oath under her breath as he passed, resulting in five points being taken from Gryffindor. The curse was worth it. Her anger was on a low boil. Find your happy place Phoebe, find your happy place.   
  
Phoebe pulled a few hairs out, handing the golden strands to Richard. Richard smirked at her and placed some of his hairs in her outstretched hand.  
  
The hairs went into the beakers. Both put their beakers down on the table.  
  
"If you do anything horrible to my body, I will personally rip out all your teeth and force feed them to you DeMarcus."  
  
"Oh how violent you are Williams, not at all becoming."  
  
"You're a basturd DeMarcus."  
  
"I'll have you know that my parents were married before they had me, though you may call me what you like."  
  
Neither of them saw someone brush by the beakers, dropping something in them. After this, Phoebe looked at the beakers. The one Richard had to drink was the color of Caribbean waters, the one she had to drink's color reminded Phoebe of moonbeams. Great, I have to drink molten silver, I'm so dead.  
  
Closing her eyes, she picked up the beaker of moonbeams and drank it. Richard did the same.  
  
It felt like molten silver had hit her throat. Her body burned and turned, changing with the potion. Phoebe's eyes snapped open and she had to swallow a gasp. She was staring into her own eyes, well, trying to, her glasses made it a bit blurry.  
  
Handing the glasses to Richard, he put them on.  
  
"You know Williams, you could just have your eyes corrected magically, that's what I had done."  
  
Phoebe growled, "I like my glasses fine, thank you!"  
  
Richard-who-looked-like-Phoebe smirked at her as he looked at his face, "I must admit I am the handsomest man on the face of the Earth. I could kiss myself. Actually, with these circumstances, I could."  
  
"Try it and I'll hurt you."  
  
"Or will you be hurting yourself?"  
  
"Don't play mind games with me DeMarcus."  
  
"Alrighty then."  
  
The double period trudged on. Morgaine and Larissa were giggling as they tried to bother each other to the point of a breakdown. Phoebe wished dearly that she could be one of them. After what seemed like an eternity, Snape stood up.  
  
"Alright class, the potion has worn off by now, class has ended."  
  
Phoebe looked at Richard, he was still her! With a growl, she shot out of her seat.  
  
"What did you do to it?! What did you do to the potion?!"  
  
Richard looked just as bewildered as her, Snape walked over to them.  
  
"Mister DeMarcus, I would ask you to please calm down!"  
  
Oh by the fates, they thought she was DeMarcus! Oh crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, this is not good! The potion should have worn off by now.  
  
Without thinking, Phoebe raised her fist and brought it straight into Richard's face. Well, her face. He was knocked back a few paces, Ravenclaws, the Hufflepuff, Larissa, and Morgaine all shouting at her.  
  
"Hey, leave her alone!"  
  
Richard regained his footing, having never been one to take a punch, he launched himself at Phoebe and the two were quickly in a full-fledged fistfight in the classroom. Morgaine struggled to pull Richard away, as Snape pulled Phoebe away. Both kept at it, managing to knock each other out.  
  
The last thing Phoebe saw were stars on a white background.  
  
*** *** ***  
  
Phoebe woke up in the hospital wing, Slytherins surrounding her. She was able to hear their words through he lack of coffee upon waking up.  
  
"Hey, he's waking up."  
  
"You alright Rich? She did a number on you. Shayla said that Troy girl stunned you."  
  
Rich, why were they calling her Rich? She lifted her head slightly and looked down at her shirt. Oh God, her chest was flat! In a stunned reaction, she ran her hand through her hair. Oh God, it was shorter then it was supposed to be!  
  
Oh God, I'm stuck in a boy's body!  
  
Someone was pushing their way through the Slytherins to get to her. It was Larissa. IT WAS LARISSA! Larissa was smart; she must have figured out that this was really her. When she saw her face, her hopes dwindled.  
  
"You basturd! If it weren't for the fact you're in a bed, I'd kick your ass!"  
  
Oh God, Larissa thought she was Richard DeMarcus!  
  
Oh shit, I'm in so much trouble!  
  
Madam Pomfrey walked up.  
  
"Good, you're awake. Your friends can take you back to Slytherin."  
  
Shayla, a rather short girl with messy brown hair and brown eyes with a hint of red in their color, helped Phoebe up.  
  
"Remember, Some of those blows have messed up his memory a bit, he might not remember things."  
  
Shayla grinned at Phoebe in a way Phoebe did not think was good at all.  
  
"Don't worry Madam, we'll help him."  
  
*** *** ***  
  
Richard woke up about thirty minutes after Phoebe left. Of course, he didn't know this.  
  
When Richard opened his eyes, he jolted at the sight of Gryffindors all around him. Of course, his eyesight was a bit fuzzy.  
  
"Madam Pomfrey, she's waking up!"  
  
Richard's voice caught in his thought. Did that Gryffindor just call him a she?  
  
Pomfrey walked up, "Oh good, you're awake. DeMarcus left about half an hour ago Miss Williams."  
  
"Miss Williams? I'm not-"  
  
Pomfrey cut him off, "Your head is a bit messed up," looking at the Gryffindors, "She might not remember much. It was the same with the DeMarcus boy. You may have to help her more then normal."  
  
A blonde girl nodded. What was her name again, Lester?  
  
"Of course Madam Pomfrey, we'll do our best."  
  
The girl that had called Pomfrey over and a Gryffindor boy helped Richard up. His head lulled and his eyes opened even wider.  
  
He had breasts!  
  
After the sudden panic washed over him, he looked around at the other Gryffindors.  
  
This is going to be very interesting. I wonder if Phoebe has a mirror in her bedroom. 


	2. a nightmare and a dream

Chapter Two  
  
A Nightmare and A Dream  
  
Shayla and the Slytherins were leading Phoebe through the dungeon hallways. Oh crap, I'm never going to remember how to find this common room, it took me half a year to remember where the Gryffindor common room was. Well, not really, but she was never good at remembering things.  
  
I want to be back in my body, oh fates, what I wouldn't do for a pair of Dorothy's ruby slippers! There's no place like my body, there's no place like my body.  
  
Phoebe looked down at her chest. Nope, still flat.  
  
Shayla's touch was unnerving Phoebe. Considering Phoebe had lost almost all of her nerve when Larissa had threatened her, her knees were now starting to quake. The only thing that stuck in Phoebe's memory was the common room password.  
  
Death To Mudbloods.  
  
Oh god, I'm a mudblood trapped in a house of mudblood hating purebloods! Oh what I wouldn't give for the Gryffindor purebloods. Did I just call myself a mudblood? I need my cd player.  
  
Phoebe had gotten Morgaine to charm her cd player so that it would work on Hogwarts grounds. Morgaine had been the only one with enough dedication to learn the complex charm. She had also charmed a portable TV with a DVD player, and a laptop they all shared. They had been watching Pirates of the Caribbean the night before while Morgaine and Larissa's pictures of the actor Orlando Bloom winked at them from above their beds. Cambria had pictures as well, but they were hidden under her pillow so Morgaine didn't steal them. Phoebe had a stash of country cds as well as her dad's rock cds under her bed.  
  
The Slytherin common room was extremely cold. No wonder the Slytherins were such an uninviting lot. If she had to spend her free time here, she'd be like that too. Then she remembered, she did have too.  
  
Shayla was hanging on Phoebe's arm. Phoebe cringed and pulled her arm away delicately.  
  
"Umm, could you show me where my room is, I can't seem to remember where it is."  
  
Shayla fluttered her eyelashes in what she seemed to deem a flirtatious manner. Phoebe controlled the urge to barf.  
  
"Of course Richard, of course I'll show you where it is."  
  
She started walking and Phoebe followed her. Phoebe watched closely as Shayla led her to her room.  
  
"This is your room Rich. Isn't it fantastic that you get your own room for being quidditch captain?"  
  
Phoebe nodded absentmindedly, "Yeah, sure. Umm, I'm going to go to bed, ok?"  
  
Shayla grinned evilly, "I could come with you."  
  
Phoebe felt herself being pressed against the door. Her now deep voice went high pitched, "Umm, no Shayla, I'm just going to go to sleep."  
  
Shayla looked upset and headed back to the common room. Phoebe gave a sigh of relief and entered her new room. Her eyes widened.  
  
The room looked tidy and neat, almost like a tiny study. Phoebe had always wanted a room like this, a desk, bookcases full of books, looking like a Victorian library.  
  
Wow, DeMarcus has some class. I always thought you lived in a wizard version of a mad scientist lab. Of course, I doubt you would have watched as many sci-fi flicks as I have.  
  
Phoebe sat down on the bed. Wow, satin sheets. Looking around the room, she noticed another door. Crossing over the room, she opened to door and sighed in relief.  
  
Oh thank the fates, he has his own bathroom!  
  
A slight breath of relief came upon Phoebe. At least she didn't have to share anything with the other slytherin boys. Richard was one of the few tolerable slytherin boys in the entire school, and the only tolerable one in their year.  
  
What was she saying, she hated DeMarcus.  
  
Sitting on the bed again, she curled up in a ball. DeMarcus was going to have a talking to in the morning.  
  
*** *** ***  
  
Morgaine, the boy, and Larissa led Richard straight to the Gryffindor common room. The Fat Lady looked at him strangely.  
  
"What's wrong with Phoebe there?"  
  
Richard had always hated chatty portraits. His mother had sold one that used to follow them around, talking about the plague and how members of the DeMarcus family had avoided it. He had always felt that it was joking about the human sacrifice, but you never knew with his family.  
  
Morgaine smiled at The Fat Lady, "Phoebs and DeMarcus had a fight during potions."  
  
The Fat Lady sniffed in distaste, "Nasty Slytherins, never liked them."  
  
Larissa nodded, "Black Pearl"  
  
The Fat Lady smiled and swung open. Richard's eyes opened wide at the sight of the Gryffindor common room. The boy pulled him in.  
  
"Come on Phoebs, you look like Jagang has gotten into your mind."  
  
Richard looked at the boy blankly, and Morgaine smirked.  
  
"I don't think she remembers the Paul series, Paul."  
  
Paul looked crestfallen, "It took me forever to get her to read them, and she goes and forgets them cause of that basturd DeMarcus. Wipe that smirk off your face Morgaine la Fay!"  
  
Morgaine laughed merrily, "Thank you Paul, I'm off the Avalon. Coming Rissa? Coming Phoebs?"  
  
Larissa laughed and tugged on Richard's arm, "Come on Phoebs, let us reacquaint you with our room. Maybe the TV will stir your memory."  
  
TV? What was that? Probably some mudblood thing. Larissa and Morgaine led him up the girl's dormitory steps. At last, he was on his way to the place he thought he would never be able to go. Just one step closer to his own personal harem of love slaves. Of course, there were plenty of Ravenclaw and Slytherin girls willing to be in such a harem.  
  
Morgaine opened the door, and two other Gryffindor girls were sitting in front of a smallish black box with moving pictures on a screen type thing. They turned their heads and smiled.  
  
"Hey Morgaine, how's Phoebs doing?"  
  
"Fine, Cambria, she's having trouble remembering things though."  
  
Richard had never really noticed any of the Gryffindor girls before. Phoebe and his relationship consisted mainly of antagonism. He had never really noticed her as a person before. The Gryffindor girls of his year were much better looking then the Slytherin girls, with possibly the exception of Kari.  
  
Larissa and Morgaine were both tall and lean, without a spare ounce of fat. Cambria, who was lying on a bed, was more of a curvy nature, with springy blonde curls that frizzed slightly. The younger girl, named Tiffany, was small and healthy looking, with short brown hair that barely tickled the tips of her ears.  
  
"You're missing your soaps Morgaine la Fay!"  
  
Morgaine smiled at Tiffany and flopped onto her bed, watching the noisy box. Larissa and Cambria rolled their eyes and looked at Richard. Cambria smiled and put her hand on Richard's shoulder.  
  
"Let's show you around the room then!"  
  
Larissa and Cambria led Richard around the room. They pointed out things that Phoebe would have known. The box was called a TV, and a flat box similar looking to it was called a laptop, with a keyboard. He had never seen such things, and quickly found out they were charmed muggle inventions. They showed him a small bookcase, nothing like his own, filled with books from muggle science books, to muggle fantasies, to their magical world counter parts. All were in varying degrees of wornness from constant read. A flat thing that had sounds pumping out of little things he stuck in his ears was called a cd player. Apparently this was not odd to any of them.  
  
All the Gryffindor sixth year girls were muggle born.  
  
Cambria pushed Richard in a playful manner, laughing softly. In his normal form, no one would dare shove him in such a manner. Larissa rolled her eyes, "Cam, none of that, she's been through a lot today, with her run in with DeMarcus and all that."  
  
Cambria's eyes opened wide, "Richard DeMarcus? Oh!"  
  
Morgaine looked up from her soap opera, apparently something Phoebe hated.  
  
"Oh don't start that again Cam! We don't need half the girls in Gryffindor going all doe-eyed for that Slytherin jerk!"  
  
Cambria giggled innocently and sat on her bed, "Tif, I think it is time for you to go to bed, your soap is over."  
  
The younger girl got up guiltily and left the room. Larissa shrugged, "I guess we better get ready for bed."  
  
Richard's eyes snapped shut. I will not be a peeping Tom! I will not be a peeping Tom! I have my dignity!  
  
He was going to have to find a way to switch this as soon as possible. All he had to do was find Phoebe in the morning. Richard didn't dare open his eyes for a half hour, till the girls were all changed. Then he had to change.  
  
Williams is going to kill me.  
  
*** *** ***  
  
Phoebe was a wreck in the morning. Changing into her new school robes was horror to her. She did quite a good job for dressing with her eyes closed. Looking herself over in the mirror, she took the stand that she preferred the boys robes to the girls. They were much more comfortable. And she had always liked the Slytherin colors more then the Gryffindor ones.  
  
"Hello there handsome!" The mirror stated as she stood in front of it.  
  
Phoebe scowled at it, wishing she could play with the chain of her necklace to calm her nerves, but someone had taken the necklace off, and she didn't know where it was. She right hand went to her left ring finger, to mess with the ring that should be there. That was gone too. It wasn't like the ring had been expensive, she had gotten it off a bookmark, but it was a comforting symbol of friendship that she treasured. Now she didn't even have that.  
  
"What you looking for, Master Richard?"  
  
"I'm not DeMarcus."  
  
"But of course you are master Richard, and you're looking quite delicious on this morning."  
  
Phoebe stared hard at her, well, Richard's, reflection. Great, just what I need, a gay mirror. Things are going from bad to worse. I'm going to strangle DeMarcus after we sort this out.  
  
Phoebe shook her head and walked out of the room, her only safety in the Slytherin common room. As she walked out, she saw the name Draco Malfoy in peeling silver paint written on the inside of the door.  
  
She wondered why the name was still there; he had been gone from Hogwarts so long. Phoebe knew a bit about Draco Malfoy. He had joined Harry Potter in his sixth year, quickly becoming close with Potter. Though many of his cunning plans, many of Voldemort's had been thwarted. The war had been going on publicly since 1995, and the side of good needed everyone they could get. Phoebe wanted nothing more then to be an Auror and have the honor to work beside Draco Malfoy. She wanted it even more then her dream to work with ancient cultures. He was one of the best. Larissa had always said she wanted to meet Harry Potter. He was like an angel, too good and godly like. Phoebe wanted to meet the darker element, the human element, someone who felt the gnaw of humanities evil on their soul. Larissa wouldn't have understood Phoebe's yearning, Phoebe had always felt Larissa was one of those godly types, one who could never seem to do wrong.  
  
As she was thinking this, she hadn't realized that she was in the common room. Everyone was looking at her, thinking she was DeMarcus. Of course, DeMarcus was the prince of Slytherin house.  
  
An extremely pretty girl got up and walked over to Phoebe. Pretty, even extremely, was too simple a word for her. To describe her made Phoebe think of the fairy tale Snow White, skin as white as snow, lips red as a rose, hair black as a ravens back, almond eyes like chips of obsidian. This wasn't a Disney Snow White; this was the fairy tale, the vampire, the corpse. Phoebe half expected her to show fangs and attempt to drink her blood. Phoebe recognized the girl from the many times she had taunted Phoebe, and from once when her temper had snapped and her fist has slammed into that painfully perfect face. Kari Simmons.  
  
Kari put her arms around Phoebe and purred into her ear, "Hello there Rich, are we still on for Friday?"  
  
Phoebe tried to keep the color in her face from leaving. Oh crap, crap, crap, crap, this girl is way to close. Not good! Not Good!  
  
"What's Friday?" Phoebe was amazed that she could keep her voice level. Phoebe did not like what this girl was doing with her hands. Oh wouldn't this girl be surprised if she knew that she was doing that to a girl.  
  
"You promised me that we would have our date on Friday, I've been waiting so long to be spending time with you, alone."  
  
Phoebe could feel the color starting to leave her face. She pushed Kari away, "I, err, have to go, bye."  
  
Phoebe bolted out of the common room and into the dungeons. The horror at what Kari was hinting at had caused a violent unsettlement in Phoebe's stomach. I will not barf, I will not barf, I will not barf!  
  
Phoebe pulled her wand out of her robe pocket. The only thing she had left from being Phoebe Williams and not Richard DeMarcus. Her wand was eleven inches, Willow wood with dragon heartstring core. It worked like an extension of her mind; sometimes she didn't have to even say the spell for it too work. She sometimes thought that it was alive, and it was like one of her best friends, one that would finish her every sentence and thought. It wouldn't work for anyone else; Morgaine had tried using it once. Since she felt it was alive, she had named it.  
  
Waving her wand slightly, a tiny dragon emerged from the tip of it. With a sardonic smile, Phoebe put her wand away after waving away the dragon. Well, at least Drake recognizes me.  
  
Phoebe headed for the Great Hall at full speed.  
  
*** *** ***  
  
Richard woke up when someone pushed him off Phoebe's bed. He got to his feet hastily and demanded who had done it. His stomach turned fiercely, he felt like he was going to throw up.  
  
Cambria giggled wildly as she fell against her bed, "What, don't like a taste of your own medicine, Phoebs?"  
  
Morgaine giggled wildly as Larissa looked on sympathetically. Cambria and Morgaine scowled at Larissa, Richard gave a silent sigh of relief. Apparently, they were used to their friend acting bizarre, or maybe they just didn't know her that well. Richard looked at his finger. A worn out ring that must have once been gold in color but was now a sort of coppery color was on his left ring finger. He noticed that Morgaine had a similar ring around her neck, only it was gold and shining. Morgaine followed Richard's gaze and took his hand, looking at the ring critically.  
  
"We're going to have to charm it again. Honestly Phoebe, you need to get another chain for your ring, wearing it on your finger is messing it up faster. Plus the fact that you hardly ever take it off."  
  
Cambria's eyes narrowed, "Phoebs, where's your necklace? The opal one."  
  
Richard's mind raced, they still didn't know that he wasn't Phoebe, and he would like to keep it that way. What the hell kept me from looking last night, was it Phoebe? How could she be in my head and affecting me? What is the bloody stomach ache?  
  
"Erm, I can't seem to find it, must have fallen off during the fight. I'll ask Professor Snape later today if he's seen it."  
  
Larissa shook her head, "Honestly Phoebe, I can't see why you spend so much time around Snape. I know you like potions and all, but he hates Gryffindors!"  
  
And with good reason too, I think, "Well, I ask him to explain stuff I don't get, it's simple as that."  
  
What does Phoebe do with Snape? True, he had seen her talking with him after class and such... Oh God, horrible mental picture! What a nasty, nasty mind you have Richard!  
  
As the other girls dressed into their uniforms, Richard turned around to dress in his. What's wrong with me? I should be taking full advantage of this! What's this little annoying voice in my head telling me to be good? His stomach gave another turn.  
  
Richard and the Gryffindor girls headed down to the Great Hall. He caught sight of Phoebe coming up from the dungeons. Giving a quick excuse to the girls, he went out to meet her. Richard grabbed Phoebe's arm and pulled her underneath a staircase.  
  
Her eyes, well, his own eyes, opened wide in shock. He forced her, err, him, err, Phoebe, to face him.  
  
"What are you doing DeMarcus? This joke has gone on long enough, I want my body back!"  
  
Richard was shocked at the violence in her, well, his voice.  
  
"Don't blame me Williams, I don't know what has happened anymore then you!"  
  
""You mean... we're stuck like this?!"  
  
"Basically, unless we find out a way to fix it, and I'm not great at research."  
  
"I am, I'm always in the library."  
  
Richard gave a rough laugh, "I'm only in the library when I'm studying."  
  
Phoebe glared at him, "You lie, I see you in the library all the time. I can do the research in your body, it'll keep me away from that Kari girl."  
  
Richard groaned, "Kari, I forgot about her!"  
  
"Well you can keep on forgetting about her, I'm staying away from her. Honestly, I hate your hormones! How can you stand them?!"  
  
"I'm a guy, well, most of the time."  
  
"Oh, right."  
  
Richard's stomach wouldn't stop turning, "What is wrong with your body Williams? I fell like I'm going to throw up all the time!"  
  
Phoebe's, well, Phoebe's Richard face scrunched up in thought, "Oh, right, it is that time of the month..."  
  
"What time of the month?"  
  
"DeMarcus, you're getting your period."  
  
"WHAT?!"  
  
"It's perfectly natural."  
  
"Not for me!"  
  
"Yeah, and you have quidditch practice today too, good thing we both play seeker."  
  
"But how am I going to play?!"  
  
"Well, I have tampons and pads in the room. There are instructions in the tampon box."  
  
"What?!"  
  
"Look, we have to get back to the Great Hall or people will suspect."  
  
Richard smirked, "What, don't want to be seen under a staircase with Richard DeMarcus?"  
  
"That's exactly the problem. Your period should start some time tomorrow. Hmmm, one good thing about turning into you is that I won't have to deal with it, and you will, HA!"  
  
"You're evil Williams!"  
  
"Thank you, everyone says that." 


	3. Cambria's quidditch terms

Chapter Three  
  
Cambria's Quidditch Terms  
  
Richard was not used to all the teachers liking him. Thinking he was Phoebe, they came up to him before and after classes to joke or share news. Professor Binns actually came up to him and started talking to him about ancient Greek wizards as if he would actually be interested in that sort of thing. Professor McGonagall had given him a book on transfiguration, beaming at him when she said she was proud of Phoebe's progress in her animagi studies. Phoebe was working on becoming an animagi? This was going to be trouble.  
  
McGonagall wanted to know if Phoebe knew what her animal form was yet, apparently Morgaine knew hers, but she was the only other student attempting to learn. Richard said he didn't, and McGonagall looked a bit crestfallen. Apparently Phoebe wasn't as in control of her magic as she led people to believe. Little Miss Gryffindor had her faults.  
  
He was wandering towards the library when Morgaine ran into him.  
  
"Phoebe! I've been looking all over for you! It's time for practice and Andrew's in a tizzy because you're not there yet!"  
  
Richard sighed, Andrew Bryant was the Gryffindor quidditch captain and keeper for the Gryffindor team, and jerk extraordinaire. Richard and him had come to blows more then once, wouldn't it be interesting to be on his team. Richard would be able to see if the rumor that Bryant snuck into the girls changing room was true. He had been seen boasting about several of the girls on the team. In fact, Andrew was the only boy on the team. The Gryffindor team girls always became a distraction to the male players on the other team, both in their skill, and the obvious threat of the other male players suffering hormonal attacks.  
  
Morgaine grabbed Richard's arm in an unceremonious manner and pulled him the entire way to the quidditch pitch. Unhand me you vile woman! I know the bloody way to the quidditch pitch!  
  
It was a good thing Morgaine couldn't read thoughts. The Gryffindor quidditch team was waiting for them on the pitch. Cambria was waving them over.  
  
"Come on Phoebs, Andrew is having a fit!"  
  
Richard rolled his eyes and Morgaine smirked. Apparently Phoebe did that a lot. A short fourth year with brownish blonde hair tied back by a hair tie and green and blue eyes ran up to him.  
  
"Phoebe! Phoebe! Where have you been? I tried to find you at breakfast this morning, dad sent me some pictures for us both."  
  
Who the hell was this? Jess something? He knew she was related to Phoebe in some way. Thankfully, the smallest member of the team walked up. She was a thin, wiry girl with deep brown hair that was tied back similar to the other girl. She barely came up to shoulder height on Phoebe's body.  
  
"Jenny Starling, leave Phoebe alone, she's probably barely able to fly. I can't believe Andrew is making her in this condition."  
  
Phoebe had been in the library all day, but Andrew had come up to Richard, thinking that he, of course, was Phoebe. Andrew was not the most pleasant person in Gryffindor. He had come close to threatening Richard if he didn't show up at practice. Richard found it odd that such a violent person was allowed to be captain. Maybe it was because he was the oldest member, and they wouldn't have to deal with him once he left. He was not even half the captain Jamie Lear had been, but Jamie had graduated the year before.  
  
Jenny pouted, "Fine Anna, fine. But Andrew is still having a fit."  
  
As if to speak of the devil, Andrew walked up with his shock of brown hair that sat on his head messily in a manner he deemed attractive. Richard thought he looked like a twat, Phoebe seemed to feel the same way when Richard had questioned her. He had never known that his face scowled that way. Bright, brown eyes laced with green glared at Richard.  
  
"It's about time you got here! We've been waiting for near an age!"  
  
Richard looked at Andrew blankly, holding Phoebe's Thunderflash in his hand. The Thunderflash was the broom a step higher then a Firebolt. Richard was still not sure how a mudblood got a hold on one. He himself was on a Firebolt.  
  
In answer to Andrew, Richard threw his leg over Phoebe's broom and kicked off. The rest of the team smirked as Andrew fumed. The rest of the team kicked off as Andrew released the quidditch balls. Richard gave the snitch a ten second head start before going out to look for it.  
  
A bludger came up behind Richard without him noticing it. He would have been hit in the back of the head if it weren't for Anna hitting it across the pitch. Richard had wondered when the Gryffindor team had chosen the tiny Anna to be a beater. Now he was thankful. She could hit a bludger farther then the beaters that were three times her size on the Slytherin team.  
  
He had been afraid that the team would notice a change in Phoebe's flying style. Phoebe's style was much different then his own, his was more choppy, while Phoebe's was more graceful, like a dancer on a stage. But, to his disbelief, the potion had given him some of Phoebe's ability at the game, so he didn't think anyone noticed the change in their seeker.  
  
Practice went quite smoothly, he caught the snitch quickly every time it was released. Both Cambria and Anna saved him from bludgers. Apparently they thought it was good exercise to hit a bludger at their seeker and then try to block it before it reached him. He was lucky they were so good, he wasn't hit once. Now he knew how they could so easily defend their players, then hit their opponents with such precision. They did the same thing to the chasers.  
  
The chasers were another thing altogether. Jenny, Larissa, and Morgaine worked like a seamless team, not paying attention to anything else, confident that their beaters would protect them. Richard now knew that Jenny was an excellent replacement for the old chaser Jamie.  
  
When it became too dark to see the snitch, Andrew called an end to practice. Good, I don't want to risk Cambria or Anna missing their bludgers.  
  
Andrew smiled at them, "Well, good practice, I'm glad Anna and Jenny were good choices. I know you all have schoolwork, but I want you to make you main homework quidditch."  
  
All of them nodded, except Cambria, who had dissolved into something that sounded between a snicker and a giggle. She looked at Richard, winking slyly.  
  
What the hell is she thinking? There was absolutely nothing funny about what Andrew had said. He himself had said something along those lines quite a few times.  
  
When Cambria saw his confused face, she looked at him as if he were mad and waving a knife in the air screaming, "I am King Lou, I need to use the little kings room!"  
  
What was she expecting?  
  
*** *** ***  
  
Phoebe was expecting him to come to her in the library the next day. His face was pale with horror.  
  
"Did you use a pad or a tampon?"  
  
"Pad, how can you stand to use tampons?"  
  
Phoebe smirked as she heard this. She had known that he wouldn't go for the tampon, not with it happening so soon. She was also glad to see that he seemed to have some bit of respect for her body. Then the thought that he found her so unattractive that he wouldn't want to even try doing that. Phoebe shrugged it off, she really didn't care. Phoebe rarely ever cared what others thought of her.  
  
"Well, sometimes they are needed."  
  
Richard looked at her, "Can I sit down?"  
  
"Did you bring coffee?"  
  
"Erm, no."  
  
"Then no, get coffee, the way I like it, and you can sit down."  
  
She grinned at the look of disgust that her face gave her as Richard stomped off. She had papers strewn across the table. Phoebe had gone through only two books in the twenty-four hours she had been at work. Skipping Richard's classes, she was certain she would be hearing about that, she had tried all she could. Phoebe loved research, but she was impatient and hard to please with slow results. Her studying had yielded little more then what she already knew, no matter how many notes she had taken.  
  
Someone had tampered with the potion, and it hadn't been her or DeMarcus. It had to have been someone good with potions, whoever would have directly tampered with it. But she didn't know what had been done to it, why it was causing it to be permanent and the other effects. She was already starting to feel less like herself, and more like DeMarcus. Blast male hormones! At least it would make Richard seem gay, and not make her feel lesbian. Phoebe was always one to be in control of any hormones she had. Richard's were testing her skill.  
  
Richard came back with a pot of coffee and two mugs. Phoebe took a filled mug and downed it, sputtering it up.  
  
"What the hell did you do to the coffee?!"  
  
Richard looked at her bewildered. So that's what a shocked look on her face was, "I didn't do anything!"  
  
Phoebe glared at him, "You idiot! You got Deffy to make it! Deffy can't make coffee to save her ears!"  
  
Pulling out Drake, Phoebe waved it over to pot and mug and it changed to a lighter color and sweetened. With another wave, her papers and the books were cleaned from the sputtered coffee.  
  
"How did you do that?"  
  
Phoebe looked up into her own shocked eyes, "Do what?"  
  
"Do that...thing without saying a spell?"  
  
"Oh, I guess I can just do it. My wand just, well, knows me."  
  
"I've never heard of anyone being able to do that without years of practice!"  
  
Phoebe felt her cheeks redden slightly. Oh god, her face had that smirk that classically adorned Richard's face. That basturd is smirking at me!  
  
"What is it DeMarcus?"  
  
"You're blushing."  
  
"I am not! I have just had no sleep in twenty-four hours, I'm flushing with lack of sleep!"  
  
"Whatever you say Williams."  
  
Phoebe glared at him and drank her coffee, feeling the familiar buzz running through her. Even in Richard's body, her love of coffee hadn't dulled. Oh how you are my only love! You are the only one who could ever truly know me!  
  
She was almost proud that her friends did not know every bit about her. She never wrote her thoughts on paper. Her view on diaries was that if you wrote it down, you were asking someone to read it. Privacy was best kept in the mind.  
  
Richard sighed, "Why is your bottom lip all messed up?"  
  
"It is not messed up, I chew on it, it's perfectly fine."  
  
"Well, maybe you'd get dates if you didn't always have a chewed on lip."  
  
A small nerve twitched at that remark. It was true she didn't date, she had never really wanted too. Sure, she thought it would have been nice to have someone who made her heart pound, but she wasn't the most attentive of relationships, preferring the company of books to boys. Books didn't talk to you; they didn't try to change you.   
  
Find your calm place, find your inner place. She put a picture of the opal she normally wore around her neck in mind, forcing herself to calm in light of its milky surface.  
  
"I don't need dates, for your information."  
  
"Why? Too much of a bookworm?"  
  
"If you are not going to be of any help, then go to breakfast and leave me!"  
  
"Oh, touchy now are we? Fine, I'll leave."  
  
She watched her body stand and leave. Strange thoughts had been running through the part of her brain that belonged to Richard, had what his feelings would have been in that situation. The thoughts were strange, and she didn't quite understand them. She wasn't sure she wanted to understand them. He stopped and looked back at her with the blank _expression that she had always used as a shield.  
  
"You will go to my classes today, I'm not making you fail, and you won't make me."  
  
Phoebe shrugged, their schedules were almost identical, it didn't matter to her. The only problem she could see would be the change in writing styles. Phoebe knew they had to have different writing styles, they were two different people.  
  
With another shrug, she went back to her research. If she had to go to classes, it was going to take even longer to find out what had happened, and even more important, how to reverse it.  
  
*** *** ***  
  
Richard forced himself to sit at the Gryffindor table. Habit had almost made him sit at the Slytherin table. Cursing himself under his breath, he sat down next to Morgaine, Cambria on his other side. Morgaine and Larissa were passing a notebook of some sort back and forth. He shrugged it off as stupid mudblood behavior.  
  
Cambria passed him something under the table. He looked at it. It was the thing they had called a cd player.  
  
"I put your favorite cd in for you. With all the stress, I thought you would need this. Besides, it'll drown out Andrew's morning rant."  
  
Richard nodded his thanks and put the things that they had called headphones on his head, over his ears. It felt strange to have to brush back hair to put them on, even if Phoebe's hair was short for a girls.  
  
Noise started pounding out of the headphones, accompanied by words. The noise he could only assume was music, so he listened to it, though it wasn't much to his taste.  
  
I don't want to spend another lonely night, oooooooooo.  
  
I've got the lights turned up  
  
The door is locked, the bedroom TV's on  
  
Doing the only thing that gets me through the night  
  
Since you've been gone  
  
Prayin' for daylight, waiting for that morning sun  
  
So I can act like my whole life ain't going wrong  
  
Baby come back to me, I swear I'll make it right  
  
Don't make me spend another lonely night  
  
Prayin' for daylight.  
  
Boy, did Williams listen to trash. It sounded nothing like the music that was on wizarding radio. Larissa had called it 'country' and that the band was called 'rascal flatts'.  
  
I call this boring. How could Williams listen to this? I've never heard music like this! Honestly! She was going to have a talking to.  
  
I made a bad miscalculation  
  
Betting you would never leave  
  
'Cause if your getting on with your new life  
  
Then where does that leave me  
  
Prayin' for daylight, waiting for that morning sun  
  
So I can act like my whole life ain't going wrong  
  
Baby come back to me, I swear I'll make it right  
  
Don't make me spend another lonely night  
  
Prayin' for daylight.  
  
Well, it does have a certain ring to it. Maybe it was entertaining, but I still don't like it. It was muggle music. I hate anything dealing with muggles... don't I?  
  
The night before, Cambria had forced him to watch a 'movie'. It was called 'League of Extraordinary Gentlemen' or some bizarre thing like that. It was actually quite good, though Cambria had laughed at him when he gasped at Mina's sudden transformation into a vampire. He had never known that muggles knew what things such as vampires were. Cambria had then kicked him off the bed and told him to go to sleep. She had then thrown a notebook at him that hit him square in the face. She had laughed saying he was losing his touch. Luckily he caught the pencil she threw at him.  
  
She pulled the headphones off and looked at him.  
  
"Have you read my post yet?!"  
  
"Post?"  
  
"In the notebook!!!!!"  
  
"Oh, that's why you threw it at me."  
  
Cambria looked at him like he was insane again. At the moment, Kari passed by. Cambria glared at her.  
  
"Little ball of string!" she hissed.  
  
It was Richard's turn to stare at her like she was insane. The look was reflected in Cambria's face. "What is with you Phoebs?! You don't know homework, or quidditch, or little ball of string, and I doubt you know what happy bunnies and naughty ducks are!"  
  
"Naughty ducks? Is that some kind of fantasy of yours?"  
  
Cambria's eyes grow wide in anger. Somehow I think that was the wrong thing to say. Bad Richard, down boy!  
  
To keep from risking risk to life and limb, he stood and walked back to the library. He needed someone to talk to, and Phoebe was the only one at the moment. 


	4. an unpleasent discovery

Chapter Four  
  
An Unpleasant Discovery  
  
Phoebe sipped at her coffee, looking over what notes she had now. She had scanned through another chapter, and had made some interesting discovery points. Only a few people that were in that class could have messed with the potion. Her list was as follows.  
  
Larissa Troy, Phoebe Williams, Paul Yeager, and Shayla Culluns.  
  
She knew it wasn't herself and why would any of the other three do something like this?  
  
Her body slumped into the seat on the other side of the table Phoebe was sitting at.  
  
"What's with you DeMarcus? You look like you just ate a flobberworm."  
  
"Well, you're friends with raging sphinxes!"  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
Her face scowled at her, Phoebe shrugged. She really didn't care what Richard said to her, she was on her way to figuring out what had done this. Richard was just a distraction, and distractions were to be ignored.  
  
At that moment, Cambria walked into the library with Larissa and Morgaine in tow. She pointed at Phoebe and Richard with a scandalous tone to her voice.  
  
"SEE!"  
  
Morgaine gave a dramatic gasp, Larissa paled slightly. Cambria looked triumphant. Phoebe glared at Richard from over to top of the binder she was gathering her notes into. Cam nodded towards the dishonor of Phoebe Williams, a Gryffindor, being seen with Richard DeMarcus, a Slytherin.  
  
"Watch this, hey Phoebe, remember, Andrew said our homework was to be quidditch."  
  
Richard-in-Phoebe's-body looked at Cambria blankly while Phoebe-in- Richard's-body was trying her level best not to snicker loudly. Must not laugh, will blow cover!  
  
Morgaine and Larissa looked at Cambria as confused as Richard-in-Phoebe's- body did. Cambria smiled with pride and pointed at Phoebe-in-Richard's- body.  
  
"That is the real Phoebe."  
  
Morgaine and Larissa's eyes grew wide as Larissa fought the urge to heave her stomach contents onto the library floor. Richard-in-Phoebe's-body got an evil grin at the reasoning for their reaction. Phoebe-in-Richard's-body kicked him hard underneath the table.  
  
Larissa controlled her urge, "How long?"  
  
Phoebe-in-Richard's-body fidgeted in her seat behind her binder, "Only a few days, since the polyjuice in Snape's class."  
  
Morgaine swooned slightly, leaning heavily on the table, "You mean, you mean..."  
  
Phoebe-in-Richard's-body frowned, "Don't think I'm anymore pleased with it then you are Morgaine, the basturd is in my body!"  
  
"For someone who calls me a basturd, you're not exactly princess perfect yourself!"  
  
"I resent that DeMarcus. Besides, I'd never be a princess, I hate the crown."  
  
"That wasn't my point."  
  
Morgaine swallowed a lump in her throat, "If he's been in the girls, gick, dormitory, does that mean you've been in the, erm, Slytherin boys dormitory?"  
  
Phoebe-in-Richard's-body laughed, "No, thankfully DeMarcus is a quidditch captain, and he has his own room and bathroom. I would have been lost if it wasn't for that."  
  
Richard-in-Phoebe's-body smirked, "Well, I'm glad you found something redeemable about me Williams."  
  
"I didn't say it was redeemable, though I'm surprised that it wasn't some evil scientist's lab. I would have expected that."  
  
"What the hell are you talking about?"  
  
"Don't worry," Morgaine interjected, "Phoebe watches way too many sci-fi flicks. We blame her dependency on fantasy."  
  
Phoebe-in-Richard's-body glared at Morgaine, who scowled back before remembering who it was. After she remembered that this was in fact her friend, she grinned. Richard-in-Phoebe's-body rolled his eyes at the two and leaned back in his chair.  
  
"Well Williams, what have you figured out about this, startling predicament?"  
  
Phoebe-in-Richard's-body sighed as she leafed through her binder, "Well, I've figured that only four people could have done this, myself, Larissa, Paul, and Shayla."  
  
Larissa's face took on an unfamiliar scowl, "I would do NO such thing!"  
  
"I wasn't accusing you Larissa, but the fact remains, those are the only four that would have the ability to mess with a potion this complex to give it this effect."  
  
Richard-in-Phoebe's-body smirked as an argument began boiling up. He knew from experience that Phoebe enjoyed little more then a good argument, and this could take till lunch. Phoebe hated little more then to lose an argument she knew she was right in. He pulled out the notebook Cambria had thrown at him the night before and opened to where the writing stopped.  
  
His eyes grew wide as he began reading. Cambria saw him and snatched the notebook out of his Phoebe hands. She glared at him, "That's not for you to read."  
  
"Obviously!"  
  
Larissa and Phoebe-in-Richard's-body paused in their building argument and Phoebe's Richard eyes grew wide, "You were reading our rp! You little!"  
  
Phoebe-in-Richard's-body had to be held back by Larissa and Morgaine to keep her from strangling Richard. Richard-in-Phoebe's-body laughed coldly.  
  
"You should get back to your research, unless you would live to live forever in my body."  
  
A dark scowl from his body's face silenced him as Morgaine took up a book with Phoebe and the two started work. Larissa took Richard's arm.  
  
"Come on, they have work to do."  
  
*** *** ***  
  
A few days passed. Phoebe was able to cover more material with Morgaine helping, and Cambria occasionally sneaking her some of her own books so that she could let her mind relax. Morgaine had confiscated Phoebe's copy of The Mists of Avalon twice already, Wizards First Rule once, Temple of the Winds twice, three different mythology books, and a book on fairy tales. Morgaine would then scowl at her and lecture her on letting Richard's habits set in.  
  
Morgaine had commented that Phoebe was starting to grow a distaste for coffee. Upon questioning Richard, she found that Richard hated coffee.  
  
THIS IS HELL!!!!!!  
  
Phoebe forced herself to drink more coffee then ever just to prove that Richard wasn't setting into her. She started to find the taste too bitter. More sugar was needed then before. I hate you DeMarcus! How can you make me start hating my beloved!  
  
Morgaine took Temple of the Winds out of Phoebe's hands. The book was cleverly hidden behind a book on potions. It was the third time she had taken it. It was the second time that day.  
  
"How do you keep getting this?! I already took this today!"  
  
"Cam gave it back to me, we all know that when you take my books from me, you place them very carefully back where it is supposed to be on my book shelves."  
  
"But, don't you want to get out of that slime-balls body?"  
  
"Of course. But don't think I don't see that cunningly hidden copy of The Fellowship of the Ring in that book you're reading."  
  
Morgaine's cheeks took on a slight reddish tint at being found out. The book fell onto the table and Morgaine quickly went back to reading, but placed Temple of the Winds far out of Phoebe's reach.  
  
Curse her! Phoebe picked the potion book back up and went back to reading it.  
  
Potions can often be given different affects if simple ingredients not found in the potion are added. Any truth potion can be altered to cause pain each time an answer is given if powdered rattlesnake fangs are added. An aging potions effects can be reverse to make the user seem younger if bats blood is added. This potion is not often used, as it has side affects such as irritation to light and doziness can become permanent. Potions such as the Polyjuice potion have been altered through the ages. The said example is said to be made everlasting if fresh, powdered black unicorn horn is added.  
  
"EUREKA!"  
  
Morgaine looked up at Phoebe, "What? Did you just sit in a bathtub?"  
  
Phoebe glared at Morgaine with her Richard eyes, Morgaine gulped.  
  
"I found out what was added."  
  
"Really? What is it? Distilled essence of evil?"  
  
"No, nothing that simple."  
  
"Yes, all they would have had to do was drain the blood of one of those Death Eaters."  
  
"SHH!"  
  
Morgaine went white as Phoebe shushed her, looking around. With the war having gone on as long as it had, you were never sure if one of the students was an aspiring Death Eater. Phoebe and her friends were all steadfast on Dumbledore's side. Each of them had taken secret defense lessons from Dumbledore himself. As muggle-borns, they were in more danger then other witches might be. Dumbledore had been the one that had gotten McGonagall to teach Phoebe and Morgaine. Larissa and Cambria were in lessons with Snape to protect their minds, and the girls were teaching each other what they were learning. Larissa was like Morgaine, and had quickly picked up the art of turning into another animal at will. Cambria was more like Phoebe, it had taken her longer, but it was just because she wanted to be sure she could do it.  
  
Phoebe still hadn't told her friends her own form. She wanted it secret for a little while longer. Morgaine leaned forward and started whispering.  
  
"Well, what is it?"  
  
"Black unicorn horn, powdered."  
  
"They got it off Knockturn Alley probably. Black Unicorns are rare and powerfully magic."  
  
"I doubt they could get it on Knockturn, it says fresh."  
  
"You mean they would have had to kill the unicorn themselves?!"  
  
"That's what it looks like."  
  
"That's horrible!"  
  
"I think my condition applies as horrible."  
  
"Sorry, forgot for a second."  
  
"Forgot! How can you forget! You're speaking to DeMarcus's messed up face!"  
  
"Well, it isn't exactly messed up."  
  
"MORGAINE!"  
  
"What? I'm just saying he's not the ugliest boy of our year."  
  
"You are so not helping!"  
  
"Well, it's not like he's a Darrin!"  
  
Phoebe winced. Darrin Yates was the ugliest boy in school. He also had a crush on her cousin Jennifer. Jenny had gotten detention for exploding at him the year before. Well, and hexing him.  
  
"You're still not helping."  
  
"Well, I'm sorry. Maybe I should bring you some fic from the computer."  
  
"Richard hasn't gone into my slash files, has he?"  
  
"Not that I know of, though I don't understand how you can read that trash!"  
  
"I have a problem ok! Besides, not all slash is bad."  
  
"Is too!"  
  
"Is not!"  
  
"Is too!"  
  
"Is not!"  
  
Paul walked into the library at that moment. A look of puzzlement appeared on his face as he saw Morgaine talking to Richard DeMarcus. He walked up slowly.  
  
"Umm, Morgaine, what the hell are you doing here with DeMarcus?"  
  
Morgaine spun around in her chair to face Paul, "Project."  
  
"For what?"  
  
"Potions."  
  
"We don't have a project in potions."  
  
"Extra credit."  
  
Paul cast an evil look at Phoebe. Phoebe froze. Oh god, I seriously don't want to get into a fight with Paul. Does he really hate Richard this much?  
  
Paul shrugged again, and started to walk off. He stopped when he caught sight of The Sword of Truth book Temple of the Winds lying on the table. He also saw Morgaine's copy of the fellowship.  
  
"What are you doing with Phoebe's copy?"  
  
Phoebe froze. Ok, brain panicking. Need to think fast.  
  
"I stole it out of Williams bag."  
  
Smooth move Phoebe.  
  
"You stole it?"  
  
Phoebe shrugged what she deemed a classic Richard shrug, "Yeah, so?"  
  
"Why did you steal it?"  
  
"Was a good idea at the time."  
  
Paul's eyes narrowed and he picked up the book and walked out of the library. Morgaine looked at Phoebe as the breath Phoebe had been holding released from her lungs.  
  
"Well, that wasn't easy."  
  
"Do you think he bought it?"  
  
"No Morgaine le Fay, I think he sold it."  
  
"This is no time for sarcasm Phoebs."  
  
"You're wrong Morgaine le Fay, it is always time for sarcasm."  
  
"You're hopeless."  
  
"Only when it comes to coffee and slash."  
  
"I still don't understand how you can read slash."  
  
"As I said, I have problems."  
  
"Obviously, let me see that book."  
  
Phoebe complied and handed the book to Morgaine. Morgaine looked over the passage.  
  
"Says this was also used to turn people into animals with the polyjuice potion."  
  
"Interesting."  
  
"Very. Why didn't you tell Paul?"  
  
"Hmm, think about it. Would you really want Paul to know about something like this?"  
  
"Oh, good point." 


	5. a very bad fairy tale

Chapter Five  
  
A Very Bad Fairy Tale  
  
During the night, Cambria was the one that helped Phoebe. She didn't have as many classes as Morgaine, so she didn't have as much schoolwork. Plus the fact that she didn't mind bending the rules more then Morgaine didn't hinder the operation either.  
  
Both girls were taking a break, as it was past eight. Cambria was listening to music on Phoebe's cd player. Phoebe was reading. Well, it was a book of fairy tales, so it wasn't like she was working.  
  
Cam had started humming, so Phoebe balled up a piece of paper that was by Cam and threw it at her. It hit Cam square on the forehead.  
  
"Hey! That was my homework!"  
  
Both looked at each other for a silent second before both dissolved in giggles. Hearing Richard's voice giggle was a rather odd experience. Phoebe decided that it was an amusing noise.  
  
"Really Cam? That was your homework? I hope it was potions."  
  
More giggles ensued. Phoebe grinned at Cambria and looked back at her book.  
  
"What are you reading?"  
  
"Fairy tales."  
  
"Which ones?"  
  
"Well, I'm reading The Frog Prince."  
  
"Hmm, what's that about?"  
  
"Honestly Cambria, you're dense!"  
  
"Am not, I want to know if it's different then the cartoon version."  
  
"Well, it's about a princess and she finds a talking frog. The frog saves her golden ball-"  
  
"Ball? Heeheehee!"  
  
"Shut up Cam! Well, he makes her promise that she'll do things for him if he saves her golden ball."  
  
"What sort of things?"  
  
"Honestly Cam! It's a frog!"  
  
"She must have strange tastes."  
  
"CAM!"  
  
"Continue please."  
  
"Ok, well, she takes him to the castle and has to let him sit by her plate, and she has to feed him herself. She has to let him sleep on her pillow. Well, she has a royal fit about the frog and the frog reveals that there is a spell on him. She kisses him at some point, and he turns into a prince. Like all Fairy tales, they fall in love and get married."  
  
"Does he have a golden ball too?"  
  
"CAMBRIA!"  
  
"Sorry, couldn't resist."  
  
"Honestly!"  
  
"Sorry."  
  
Phoebe scowled at Cambria and went back to reading. They sat there in silence for quite a while, Phoebe getting through several fairy tales. After a long while, Cambria looked up.  
  
"What spell was on the frog dude?"  
  
Phoebe looked at Cambria confused, "It doesn't say."  
  
"Oh."  
  
They fell into silence once more. Phoebe started to ponder what Cambria had said. What spell had been used on the frog prince? It sounded oddly like...  
  
THE POLYJUICE POTION!  
  
Phoebe jumped to her feet and a look of victory came over her.  
  
"It was the polyjuice potion! That's what was used on the frog prince!"  
  
Cambria's eyes lit up. Phoebe's did as well until the rest of it dawned on her. Dread and horror replaced the victory.  
  
"Oh God!"  
  
"What?????"  
  
All the color left Phoebe's face.  
  
"I have to kiss Richard."  
  
Cambria's face paled. After a second though, Cambria dissolved back into giggles.  
  
"Well, this'll be strange, you have to snog yourself!"  
  
Phoebe sank back into her chair and buried her face in her hands.  
  
"Why me? Why me? Why me?"  
  
""Poor Phoebs... Can I take pictures?"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"What? This would make school headlines! Phoebe Williams and Richard DeMarcus, sworn enemies, snogging!"  
  
"You aren't helping Cam!"  
  
"I think it's sweet!"  
  
"Yeah, well you also like Snape!"  
  
"As a teacher."  
  
"Sure Cam, suuuuuuuure."  
  
"Still, I'm not the one that has to snog DeMarcus."  
  
"Shut up Cam!"  
  
*** *** ***  
  
Phoebe avoided Richard for the next two days. Every time she saw him in her own body, she gagged and ran off. She really wanted to be back in her own body, but she didn't want to go through with the only way she knew how to get back into it.  
  
Who would want to kiss themselves? Who would want to kiss their worst enemy? Who would want to kiss a mask?  
  
Phoebe had gone into hiding, with Larissa being the only one knowing where she was. In the quidditch supply closet. It was easy to hide in, she had done it when she was younger and needed some time alone. People rarely went into it, and when they did, there was plenty to hide behind. Larissa was the only one she told this too. Morgaine would get worried and tell Cambria, and Cam would tell Richard, and Richard was the last person she wanted to see.  
  
She was curled up in the far right corner with her copy of American Gods. She was at the part that had made it impossible for her to ever watch "I Love Lucy". There was a small window that shone right on the pages, so it was quite comfortable. All she needed was to be left here till it was too dark to read, then she could sneak back into Slytherin and going to bed, even if she did miss Gryffindor. Gryffindor was always so warm and comfortable, you could just curl up in a chair and no one would bother you. Well, except Paul. It was a general rule never to eat anything Paul gave you. He spent too much time in joke shops and was said to know Fred and George Weasley personally.  
  
The door opened and light filtered in. It didn't bother her, she was surrounded by supplies, and only Larissa knew where she was. There was movement, it sounded like someone was coming closer.  
  
I shouldn't worry, no one would want to find me. I'm in Richard's body, and no one I know would want to find Richard.  
  
Her face popped around some of the boxes.  
  
"Larissa said you'd be here."  
  
"Rissa squealed on me! What did you do to her?! Torture? Anguish? Pain? Torment?"  
  
A smile spread across Richard's Phoebe face.  
  
"No, actually, her and Cambria came to me and said you had a development you needed me for."  
  
He came over to her and pulled the book out of her hands and pulled her to up so that she was standing. Phoebe looked down at him uneasy. She still wasn't used to being tall.  
  
"And Rissa told you where I was?"  
  
"Yes, and that's not all I was told."  
  
Phoebe's uneasiness grew. Richard had a glint in his...erm...her own eyes. He grabbed her and kissed her.  
  
Very distinct thoughts ran through both of their minds. They went a little like this.  
  
Richard: Wow, this is a lot better then kissing my reflection! I really am a great kisser! I am fabulous, I really am!  
  
Phoebe: EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW! I'm kissing myself! EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW EW!  
  
The pain of transforming back into themselves set in. Phoebe pushed Richard away and buried her face in her hands. She looked at her hands. THEY WERE NORMAL AGAIN!  
  
Well, they were a bit blurry.  
  
She looked up at Richard. The git was smiling at her! He took her glasses off his face and stuck them on hers. Everything became clearer. He took the ring out of his pocket and placed it into her hand.  
  
"There you go Williams, your affects."  
  
"What about my necklace?"  
  
"What necklace?"  
  
"The opal one I'm always wearing that's been missing since I woke up in your body in the hospital wing."  
  
"Well, I don't have it."  
  
"But you have to have it!"  
  
Richard just smirked at her and leaned in again. She backed away, grabbed her book, and ran out.  
  
Richard sighed in aggravation as she ran off.  
  
"Well, looks like I'll have to figure out who did this, Williams has gone all Gryffindor on me."  
  
*** *** ***  
  
Phoebe ran into the Gryffindor tower, gasping the password as she didn't slow her pace. The Fat Lady swung open quickly. Phoebe collapsed on the couch. Oh God it feels so good to be back in my own body!  
  
Larissa looked up from a notebook at her.  
  
"So, is this Phoebe?"  
  
Phoebe looked up and glared at Larissa. She nodded.  
  
"Thought so. What was it like kissing yourself?"  
  
"I hate you."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I had to kiss myself."  
  
"I'm aware of that."  
  
"God Rissa! You're starting to sound like me!"  
  
"That is bad."  
  
Morgaine and Cambria walked in and looked at Phoebe, each one with their own personalized smirk on their faces. Usually those tailored smirks brought Phoebe's own custom-made smirk, but not when she was at the but of the joke.  
  
"So Phoebe, was it a good kiss?"  
  
"Shut up Larissa."  
  
"Was there anything other then lips involved?"  
  
"Shut up Morgaine."  
  
"Any quidditch? You were in the quidditch shed."  
  
"Shut up Cambria."  
  
"Sure Phoebs. Well, if you want to talk about..."  
  
"I don't want to talk about it."  
  
"Suit yourself."  
  
Phoebe got up and walked up to her room. She threw herself onto her bed and buried her face in the pillows. Her head remained there until she needed to come up for air. When she did, she looked around, grabbing her Stitch doll and hugging it. It was on, so when she hugged it, it talked.  
  
"I love you too."  
  
Phoebe smirked, "You're rotten."  
  
"AHAHAHAHAHAHA!"  
  
Phoebe smiled and reached under her bed. She frowned, "Hey! Where's my scrap book?!" 


	6. how to be yourself in three easy steps

Chapter Six  
  
How to be Yourself in Three Easy Steps  
  
Dumbledore stood at the head table the next morning, holding a piece of parchment that Phoebe had handed him before breakfast. He looked distinctly ruffled and his eyes had a strange twinkle in them.  
  
Phoebe was drinking coffee in double doses.  
  
"Miss Williams and Mister DeMarcus would like the school to know that the person or persons responsible for tampering with the polyjuice potion in their class and causing them to be turned into each other for the past two weeks will be brought to justice. Miss Williams would like them to know that she will find you. Mister DeMarcus would like you to know that once Miss Williams finds you, he will tear you apart limb from limb and feed you to the Giant Squid."  
  
Phoebe heard what Richard had written on the paper. She was now drinking coffee straight from the pot.  
  
She couldn't bring herself to look at Richard. She kept her head down on the table, Cambria patting her head.  
  
"Well, I think you've been humiliated way past your daily quota for today."  
  
Phoebe nodded sadly as her cousin Jenny sat next to her.  
  
"Hey Phoebs, umm, was what Dumbledore said true?"  
  
Phoebe nodded again. Jenny giggled nervously.  
  
"Um, well, while you were DeMarcus... did you, erm, look at yourself?"  
  
Phoebe's head rose wearily and looked into her cousin's eyes, "No Jenny, I did not look. I got dressed and showered with my eyes closed."  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yes, really."  
  
"Well, did he look at you?"  
  
"I don't know, nor do I really want to know."  
  
"Oh, alright."  
  
Jenny got up and walked back over to Anna, where the two quickly stuck up conversation. Whispered conversations were going on all over the Great Hall. Cambria sighed.  
  
"Well, I guess I stand corrected."  
  
Morgaine looked at Phoebe sadly, "Well, at least you love coffee again."  
  
"And you can rp."  
  
"And read your slash."  
  
"And listen to music."  
  
"And throw things at Paul."  
  
"That's very nice of the two of you, but I'm not feeling to well today... Where's Larissa?"  
  
Morgaine shrugged, "Not sure, somewhere probably."  
  
"Do either of you know where my scrap book is?"  
  
"You mean the Draco Malfoy one?"  
  
"It is not Draco Malfoy, Cam! It's an Auror scrapbook."  
  
"Yeah Cam, the fact that almost everything in it has to deal with Draco Malfoy is besides the point."  
  
"There's stuff on Harry Potter too."  
  
"Yeah, about three articles and a picture of him."  
  
"So? You keep every single article that you see that even mentions Lord of the Rings."  
  
"So?"  
  
"That's my point."  
  
Morgaine and Cambria looked at each other in confusion. Phoebe sighed.  
  
"I'm going to... somewhere. Don't wait up, I'll see you all in class."  
  
Phoebe got up and walked out of the Great Hall. She didn't see Richard get up and follow after her.  
  
*** *** ***  
  
Richard followed Phoebe to the owlery. Again, he had been provided that she usually went there when she wanted to be alone. He needed to talk to her, so she wouldn't be getting her wish for lonesomeness.  
  
When she walked in, a barn owl flew down to greet her. She gave it a bit of food she had taken from the Gryffindor table and it hooted its thanks. She stroked its head and walked over to one of the tables in the owlery.  
  
"So Gerul, any mail?"  
  
The owl hooted an answer.  
  
"Shoot, I wanted to write to someone... hmmm, do you want to send a letter?"  
  
The owl nodded and hooted. Phoebe smiled, "Alright, well, lets figure out who to send a letter too..."  
  
Both girl and owl seemed to go into deep thought. Richard couldn't help but to snicker at the display. Unfortunately, Phoebe heard the snicker, and was way too familiar with it to mistake who it was.  
  
"Get out of the shadows DeMarcus, they get enough bad press without you there."  
  
Richard sighed in aggravation, a habit he somehow picked up from his stay in Phoebe's body.  
  
"Bitter are we?"  
  
"I'm not bitter, I'm Phoebe, and Williams to you."  
  
"Oh, is that so? After all we've been through together."  
  
"You're pushing it DeMarcus, what do you want?"  
  
Richard walked over to Phoebe, sitting in the chair next to her. She scooted her chair farther away from his.  
  
"Well, I was thinking we figure out who did this, instead of pouting with your owl."  
  
"I'm not pouting!"  
  
"Williams, I spent two weeks in your body, you're pouting."  
  
"Am not."  
  
"Are too."  
  
"Shut up."  
  
"No."  
  
Phoebe grumbled and started writing.  
  
"What you writing?"  
  
"List of suspects."  
  
"Who are they?"  
  
"Well, about anyone who could convince Paul or Shayla Culluns to do such a thing. It's either seduce Culluns, or tell Paul it's a joke."  
  
"Wow, seducing Shayla, where men, women, house pets, and house elves have all gone before."  
  
Phoebe shivered at the painted mental picture.  
  
"Ewwwww!"  
  
"She's not as bad as Kari."  
  
"Oh God Slytherin girls are gross!"  
  
"Only those two."  
  
Richard took the list from Phoebe. Just about everyone in the school in the top three years was on it. This was going to take some work.  
  
"Well, at least we aren't on it."  
  
"Of course we aren't!"  
  
"There are Gryffindors on this list."  
  
"I know."  
  
Phoebe went back to talking to her owl.  
  
"How about sending a letter to Uncle Curtis and Aunt Clara. It's been a while since we've written them."  
  
"Are you even listening to me?"  
  
"No, Gerul is more interesting then you."  
  
Phoebe stroked the owl's breast feathers and kissed the top off its head. The owl cooed appreciatively. Richard felt his temper boiling. Must not react!  
  
"Will you listen to me instead of playing with your owl?!"  
  
"Why should I? You're the one that followed me. I'll figure it out in my own good time. I don't need your help, and I never have. It was me who figured out how to change us back, how it happened, and maybe even who altered the potion."  
  
Richard felt his temper boiling over. He decided to bring in something that would make her help him no matter what.  
  
Out of his bag, he drew a large, black photo album. The word Scrapbook flashed in silver, seeming to shimmer on its own. She had enchanted it so that only she could remove it from where she put it. It seems that, unlike Drake, the scrapbook allowed anyone with her appearance to move it. Richard knew all this.  
  
Richard had her scrapbook. He flipped through the pages.  
  
"Amazing that the rest of your life isn't as organized as this. Everything is right here. Well, everything on Malfoy anyways."  
  
He watched Phoebe turn bright red. Somehow, it wasn't as fun to do as it was before the potion. Strange.  
  
She lunged for it, "Give that back!"  
  
Richard laughed and held it out of her reach. Though he was barely an inch taller then her, he was still able to keep it away.  
  
"Ah, ah, ah, you have to do what I say to get it back, or I put it out for everyone to see."  
  
Phoebe's face took a drastic color change to white, her eyes turning to a more grayish hue. Suddenly, all the anger returned to her face and she pulled out her wand and pointed it at his belt.  
  
"Conglacio!"  
  
She took her scrapbook and left as Richard collapsed on the ground in pain, curling up. Before she exited, she took her wand again and said, "Trepidus" to reverse the hex. She glared at Richard.  
  
"Never try to get my help by blackmail again. I won't be so forgiving next time."  
  
With that, she left. Richard felt slightly sad as she did so, but caught himself.  
  
What the hell is happening to me?!  
  
Author notes:  
  
Translations:  
  
Conglacio- to freeze  
  
Trepidus-to warm 


	7. When Ravenclaws Attack!

Chapter Seven When Ravenclaws Attack  
  
Phoebe had fallen into a more sullen mood than ever. It had been two days since her confrontation with DeMarcus and she felt awful. Well, not entirely awful, causing DeMarcus pain, especially in that way, was still worth a laugh, but she did feel a bit guilty. Or maybe it was just that she had skipped most of her meals so she could keep up the pace in her research on the perpetrator.  
  
She had kept away from her friends for the most part, in a voluntary isolation, even Professor Snape had noticed, questioning her after potions class about it. She simply asked him if he knew of any place where black unicorns lived, as a potions master should know where this valuable ingredient could be gotten. Snape had told her that nearly the only place black unicorns lived naturally was in northern Germany. Phoebe thanked him and headed off back to the library.  
  
Since the incident, she had carved out a section in the library that had almost literally become hers. However, it wasn't books she was interested in, not today anyways. Today she was going to find a way to get into the Hogwarts record halls. She was pouring over blueprints of the school, marking any possible route to get to the record halls.  
  
Apparently the record halls were rather simple to get to, once you got past a number of rooms and charms and enchantments. However, there was no possible way to get past them all without running into a teacher unless somehow you were able to tell where they were at any given moment. Something like that would be a gift of the gods.  
  
But of course something like that would be near impossible, especially in such a short amount of time. No, what she needed was to talk to the Ravenclaws. Specifically a ravenclaw in seventh year named Emily Bryan and one in sixth year named Day Nichols. The latter was as known as the Weasley twins had been. Phoebe had become friends with the two the year before and had a weekly Yu Yu Hakusho night, the last two her having missed because of her 'condition'.  
  
Getting up she collected her things, as well as grabbing the laptop she had taken with her to catalogue her theories. Stuffing it into her shoulder bag, she left the library quickly.  
  
After about ten minutes, she arrived at the ravenclaw common room entrance. She looked at the statue of a raven and thought. What would they have their password as? Hmm, Emily was head girl... of course!  
  
"Suuichi Minamino!"  
  
The raven statue swung forward and allowed Phoebe entrance to the common room. She entered and waved even before she saw them, "Hey Carressema, Hey Half-Wit."  
  
Emily laughed as she looked up from her copy of Return of the King. Day just glared at Phoebe, "I am not a half-wit!"  
  
"Well it rhymes with Half-Brit, and you are that!"  
  
"At least I'm not a no wit!"  
  
"I'm tragically wounded Day."  
  
Phoebe looked over at the two. Emily was a little shorter than Phoebe, well proportioned, and with long blonde hair. Day was taller than Phoebe by several inches, long raven hair, and tanned skin from her mother's side of the family. Emily had the look you would expect of the nicest person in the world having. Day had the look of a fox figuring out a way to steal the royal jewels.  
  
She went over to Emily and Day, sitting on a blue chair. Pausing for a soft private laugh at the color, she looked at the two Ravenclaws.  
  
"I need help."  
  
Day smirked and tilted her head back, "You insult me and then expect help, you shall get nothing!"  
  
Phoebe glared at Day, "That is soooo not fair and you know it! I mean, you're my teammate! You don't go back on your teammate, where's your honor?"  
  
Day raised an eyebrow, "What are you, Kuwabara?"  
  
Phoebe turned red with anger, "I am NOT stupid!"  
  
Emily laughs gently, "We know that already Phoebe, now what is it that you need?"  
  
Phoebe looked around to make sure no one else was in the common room before leaning forward and whispering, "I need you two to help me sneak into the records hall. It is vitally important to the fate of the entire world!"  
  
Day rolled her eyes, "and how is it vital to the entire world?"  
  
"I have to find out how many students have access to northern Germany, especially the forested areas. The records halls basically have almost entire life stories, I've talked to Professor Binns about it and he confirmed it."  
  
Emily nodded, "That's true, I've talked to Binns about it when I was doing a report on former students. I've only been in there once, but the records are limitless seeming."  
  
Day smirks, "Which means limitless blackmail possibilities, I'm in!"  
  
Phoebe shakes her head, "But it's impossible to get into without someone catching us! I've tried planning every possible route, and they all go near vital pockets of teachers."  
  
Day and Emily looked at each other as if in deliberation. Phoebe looked back and forth between the two, "What, what is it?"  
  
*** *** ***  
  
Richard walked into the Gryffindor common room, "Ok, where is she?"  
  
Cambria looked up from homework and blinked, "What are you doing here?"  
  
"Larissa told me the new password."  
  
"So? Do you think that gives you a red carpet to just walk in here whenever you like? God, it's almost like you're stalking Phoebe. You sad sad man."  
  
"I am not stalking her!"  
  
"Oh really, then why are you looking for her?"  
  
"Because..." he trailed off and sighed, sitting on the couch next to Cambria, "Ok, since we changed back, it's strange, it's almost like I can feel what she's thinking, but it's not that. It's like I can feel sometimes when she's feeling something strongly, especially hatred."  
  
Cambria tilted her head, "So I guess when she nearly froze your manhood off, you felt her sadistic sense of humor."  
  
Richard turned a unflattering shade of red, "She told you about that?"  
  
"Yup, she even cast a hologram of it, that face of yours was priceless!"  
  
Richard became even redder and stared down at his fingers, "anyways, do you know where she is?"  
  
"Not a clue, and you shouldn't be looking for her either, she's not fond of you at all."  
  
"I am quite aware of that."  
  
Cambria nodded and turned back to her work, "as long as you realize this. Oh, and xyz."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Xyz."  
  
"What's xyz?"  
  
"You know you purebloods crack me up, you don't know the simplest muggle saying."  
  
"WHAT'S XYZ?!"  
  
Cambria snickered, "The X stands for examine, the Y stands for your, and the Z stands for zipper."  
  
Richard just looked at her with utter puzzlement. Cambria sighed and rolled her eyes, "Look down you insufferable jerk."  
  
Richard looked down. Sure enough, the zipper of his pants was down. Cambria laughed as he quickly turned around and zipped up his pants. Shaking her head she got back to work, she really did not want to deal with the DeMarcus issue. If anything, she wanted to get her transfiguration homework done so she would not fail.  
  
"Well, anyways, where is she?"  
  
He just would not go away! Cambria looked up at him, "Honestly, if I even knew, I wouldn't tell you, so buzz off!"  
  
Richard glared at her and left the Gryffindor tower, a strange sensation of being rejected causing a sinking feeling in his gut. He was not used to this sort of feeling, and he did not like it at all. Come on, he even felt guilty about something!  
  
He had not even seen Phoebe in the past two days outside class, and in class she seemed tired and distant. Instead of listening in some classes, she was reading these Japanese comics books. Even Snape had noticed how strange she had been acting; he even questioned Richard about it yesterday.  
  
Now he could not even find her. He worried, before she went reclusive, she was stressed and tense. He worried she would do something drastic.  
  
*** *** ***  
  
"The Marauders Map?"  
  
Day and Emily nodded as they held out an aged piece of parchment. Phoebe took it and looked it over. So this was the famous Marauders map? She had over-heard the Weasley twins talking about it one day when she was in their joke shop. Still, she did not think that the map would look like this, all old and decayed.  
  
Day took the map and pointed her wand at it, whispering, "I solemnly swear I'm up to no good."  
  
Phoebe's eyes lit up as the lines of the school suddenly began to draw themselves onto the parchment as if an imaginary hand was drawing it. When that was done, there were dots all over, with names underneath them in neat minute writing. The first thought that ran through her mind was, well, it was oh my god, but the second thought was that if Hogwarts didn't have such a low student population in recent years, the map would be littered with dots.  
  
Day grinned evilly at Phoebe, "It even tells you passwords. This thing is a boon to all troublemakers of Hogwarts!"  
  
Phoebe bit her lip, "Where did you get this?"  
  
Day's smile faded, "Well, as much as I want to claim that I discovered the Marauder's Map, this victory goes to the little goodie two shoes."  
  
Emily smiled and nodded, "That's right, I discovered it. It wasn't too hard actually; I was in Dumbledore's office one day and saw it. A bout of mischief spout up and I nicked it, then discovered how to work it with help from Day."  
  
Phoebe looked at Emily with wide eyes, "I am completely and utterly amazed..."  
  
Emily smiled at Phoebe and laughed, "It was no big, it's not like I'm a thief all the time."  
  
Day smirked, "I think we're rubbing off on her."  
  
Phoebe nodded with a smirk and hit Day in the arm. Day gave off a yelp and hit Phoebe back. This started a back and forth hitting match till both girls had bruised upper arms. Emily just rolled her eyes, "Come on you two, we need to plan this out!"  
  
Day and Phoebe stopped immediately and the three started preparing the night's work.  
  
*** *** ***  
  
After an hour, the plan was set and planned out. The time of attack, eleven o' clock that night! 


	8. A good plan always has a loophole

Chapter Eight A good plan always has a loophole  
  
It was eight o' clock when Phoebe and Day met outside a one-eyed with a humped back. Day grinned at Phoebe and tapped the hump, whispering the password. The statue swung forward and the two girls slipped in.  
  
Phoebe looked up around the tunnel as they walked, "How'd you find out about this place Day?"  
  
"I was told about it by some friends."  
  
"Who would be?"  
  
"The same people we're going to see now."  
  
Phoebe tilted her head, "Who is there in Hogsmeade?"  
  
Day looked over her shoulder and grinned, "Fred and George Weasley of course!"  
  
Phoebe blinked and kept following Day, "Oh..."  
  
I always knew Day had connections. Somehow I thought it was more like with the Michigan Mafia or something equally useless and nonexistent, but Fred and George Weasley... Wow, I mean, they have tricks and stuff that they are not even allowed to sell to the public. If Day had access to that sort of firepower, I would seriously be in trouble if we were not friends!  
  
Time passed by ever so slowly in the tunnel. Phoebe amused herself with pulling Day's hair as they walked. I'm glad that this tunnel is too narrow for her to turn around and punch my lights out!  
  
They finally came out in the basement of Honeydukes. Now, as any good trickster knows that the only way to sneak out of Honeydukes without tripping an alarm was to simply walk out the back door. It was only charmed on the outside, so leaving was perfectly fine. They could floo from the joke shop as Fred and George must know that they were coming, the way Day had been talking. Now, they had about two hours to get what they needed and get back. Well, until Erika found out they had snuck out of school to go to a joke shop for firepower.  
  
The village was already vacant except for a few odd people out and about. It was still too warm out for cloaks, so they tried to remain as inconspicuous as possible. It was easy for Day, who was about the height of an adult, but Phoebe was still a bit short.  
  
They quickly made their way into Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. Phoebe's face lit up in an evil grin as she took in her surroundings. The joke shop was unlike any other, unless you had been to any of their other twenty-five stores. There were shelves upon shelves of wondrous inventions, powders, gels, liquids, and solids. Just about anything you could think of was there, plus a few you would not. The pure design was a mad woman's dream, hence Phoebe feeling very much at home there.  
  
Day walked up to the Weasley brothers with a mischievous grin, "Hello there Fred and George, we need some serious fire power today."  
  
"The prank playing kind?" asked Fred.  
  
"Or the distraction kind?" asked George.  
  
Day thought, "Best be a bit of both, but we need distraction kind, and fast before Emily finds out Phoebe and I went on a little side trip from our plans."  
  
Phoebe nodded to back up Day, "Yes, and do you have any of the 'stop following me around you fucked up creep!'"  
  
George and Fred looked at each other, blinked, than burst into peals of laughter. George nodded, with a mischievous glint in his eyes, "We have plenty of that, we'll get on it right away."  
  
Day and Phoebe waited as the twins set about getting the girls their arsenal.  
  
"I can't believe she hasn't came back to the tower yet!"  
  
"This is irresponsible, even for her!"  
  
"Well come on you two, she's going through a lot!"  
  
Morgaine, Larissa, and Cambria (in that speaking order) were in the Gryffindor Girl's sixth year dormitory, talking about a rather vivid subject: Phoebe not returning to the dorm, and it already being close to ten o' clock. She was gone past curfew, and that had not happened for quite a few months.  
  
Morgaine and Larissa were lobbying back and forth basic insults about Phoebe in their irate mood, as they felt neglected in how she was separating herself. Cambria was actually being serious, telling her friends that Phoebe must have her reasons.  
  
Of course real or imaginary reasons mattered little to Morgaine and Larissa, who were quite peeved to say the very least. They were planning on going to hunt down Phoebe, but that would mean breaking the rules themselves... well, there is a time and place for everything!  
  
Cambria just shook her head. She really felt that Phoebe was sorting things out I her own way, and that if people bothered her, they would end up like DeMarcus, only with different parts being frozen. Of course she was not being listened to, but she was fairly used to that by now. They would do what they wanted, even if she warned against it.  
  
And of course, she would have to take care of clean up when they got back.  
  
Richard was in deep, deep shit. Not the normal level of shit he found himself in on a daily basis, but true and utter deep shit.  
  
He was almost certain that someone had been following him back to the Slytherin Common room. And he was certain that if someone had been following him, that someone was not friendly. Come on fate! I just had to spend two weeks in Phoebe Williams' body! Haven't you tortured me enough?  
  
Well, apparently not, because someone had been following him. And, goddamnit, that scared the crap out of him!  
  
He really needed to talk to Phoebe about this. According to Snape, the girl had isolated herself, talking to no one. Not that Richard cared, of course not! Well, maybe a little, but hey! You couldn't blame a guy for being worried about the girl who's body he had spent two weeks in!  
  
Heh... he really hoped Phoebe never asked him what happened all during those two weeks.  
  
"Well, there you go!" George said cheerily, handing Day and Phoebe their items for the night.  
  
The two girls left quickly and George turned to Fred.  
  
"What do you reckon those two are after?"  
  
"I'd say either record halls for blackmail, or possibly Dumbledore's with that arsenal."  
  
"Really? I thought just about the same. Think it has anything to do with that Phoebe girl becoming a man for two weeks?"  
  
"Dunno, probably. God, wouldn't it be wonderful to be in a girl's body for two weeks? I mean, think about it George, unlimited opportunities!"  
  
George just shook his head, chuckling, "Right Fred, I'll give that some thought."  
  
Fred stuck his tongue out at George, "stupid hormone lacking twin!"  
  
Cambria walked sneakily through the castle. She was a bit unused to this. Not to say she followed the rules meticulously, but normally when she was out after hours she was with someone to help her along. Not that she needed help, but it was nice to have a friend along during a night of flagrant rule breaking.  
  
And so she was walking through the eerily silent hallways as she made her way around. She was looking for Phoebe, and knowing Phoebe as she did, she would most likely be getting herself into a mess of trouble.  
  
Oh well, as least she could probably guilt Phoebe into getting her chocolate or something.  
  
And evil smirk crossed her face at that thought as she restrained a giggle at the thought of chocolate. Oh how thoughts could be the downfall of us all.  
  
Oh well, she best get her mind off chocolate and onto the task at hand. Phoebe could be a tricky bugger to find, especially in a castle this size. Her mind wondered for a moment in looking around Professor Snape's chambers. The two of them had cleverly discovered the password to said chambers, and given their... erm, enthusiasm for the potion arts, they had made plans of making it useful.  
  
Well, that is defiantly not to say that the two of them would ever think of doing anything with the professor that was not entirely academic... but girls could dream right?  
  
Besides, there are laws against that sort of thing, so you people have nothing to worry about concerning Cambria's and Phoebe's chastity in regards to Snape... well, not until after graduation anyways.  
  
Anyways, after that lovely tangent, we fid the reader redirected to Cambria as she searches for Phoebe. She was now currently in a hall that she did not recognize in the dark. However, she did hear voices.  
  
She wasn't sure who the voices belonged to, but she was almost certain. Creeping around the corner, she smirked as she saw three girls.  
  
Emily Bryan, Day Nichols, and Phoebe Natalie Williams.  
  
Score!  
  
Cambria snuck around and pounced.  
  
Phoebe's scream was effectively muffled.  
  
Cambria got off her friend as Phoebe glared at her.  
  
"What do you think you're doing Cambria?" Phoebe hissed. "We're trying to sneak into the records halls!"  
  
Cambria smirked and whispered, "Without me, you won't get too far Phoebs."  
  
Emily sighed and whispered hurriedly, "Alright, just come on already, you can help Day stand guard!"  
  
Tapping the map and saying the magic words, Day quickly led them to the records halls without a hitch in the arrangements.  
  
Well, unless you call drop kicking Mrs. Norris down a stairwell a hitch, but Day just couldn't resist. Besides, Emily casted an effective pillowing charm to keep the poor cat from harm.  
  
They quickly stationed at the records hall entrance and fumbling through her mental list of passwords. Come on Williams, you know this! You have to know this! You know every password in Hogwarts sides for the Hufflepuff common room, but that was of no use so why know it anyways?  
  
With her mind whirling and twirling, she finally reached the answer. It was so obvious, how could one not guess it? Even if one was just stabbing in the dark! Taking a deep breath, Phoebe whispered the password.  
  
"Cheese Monkeys are plotting the downfall of the jellyfish!"  
  
Ok, so maybe it was not the easiest password to guess, but give Phoebe credit, she did figure it out.  
  
And figure it out he had, the door swung open and the girls quickly entered. Day and Cambria took their position at the door to watch for anyone coming. Of course they would already know if someone was coming thanks to the ageless Marauders Map, but you can never be too careful... Unless you are named Tino.  
  
Phoebe and Emily quickly started looking through the files...  
  
Then moderately paced looking through the files...  
  
Then slowly looking through the files.  
  
Well, the records hall was seemingly endless, so they had a lot of material to work with. Around five am, however, Phoebe struck a find.  
  
In a file that started with the name...  
  
Sorry, but you're going to have to wait till next chapter to find out! I'm evil aren't I? 


	9. Who Wouldda Thunk It?

Chapter Nine Who wouldda thunk it?  
  
In the file that started with the name, Andrew Bryant! Phoebe's eyes opened wide. Her bossy and perverted quidditch captain, she had not voted for him, was the only student currently in the school that had access to black unicorn territory. On top of that, his file showed that he had a background in Potion making, his parents had apparently had enrolled him in a prep school before being accepted into Hogwarts.  
  
And to top it all off, he was in second year advanced potions, and the records had it documented that he had been working on an extra credit project on polyjuice adaptations!  
  
"Guys! Guys!" Phoebe shouted in a whisper, "I found something! You're not going to believe it!"  
  
Emily, Day, and Cambria all ran over to Phoebe and they went through the file together.  
  
"Who wouldda thunk it?" Cambria thought aloud.  
  
Emily nodded in agreement, "I didn't even know he was in advanced potions two!"  
  
Day just shrugged, "I'm only surprised that the pervert didn't use it on himself."  
  
Phoebe nodded in agreement, "I know. This still doesn't make sense though, what's his motivation? Where's the incriminating genetic evidence? Someone call the New Detectives or the FBI Files!"  
  
Cambria slapped Phoebe to effectively shut her up. Phoebe blinked and rubbed her cheek with a pout, "Owwie, that huuuuurt!"  
  
Day looked at the Marauders Map. "We have to leave, Snape's heading up this direction."  
  
Phoebe and Cambria looked at each other then grinned, "We'll help him back to bed!"  
  
Day and Emily looked as if they had just eaten a vomit-flavored jellybean. The utter disgust of the two Gryffindors statement left them speechless. Day was the first to recover, "Well... we know who's teacher's pet now... though I am too disgusted to think of it."  
  
Phoebe and Cambria giggled quietly, winking to each other in a secretive way. Day just rolled her eyes and Emily did not seem to be paying attention. She was looking over the marauders map, her eyebrows furrowed.  
  
"Guys, we have to go. Filch is heading this way and some of the other teachers are up. The only straight path is to the Slytherin common room down in the dungeons. And no, we can't go by Snape's office, I'd rather not get detention!"  
  
Phoebe and Cambria pouted as Emily said this. The best part of detention was being around Snape of course! They sighed in unison and looked over at the map.  
  
It was true; the only path led right to the Slytherin common rooms. Most likely they'd have to duck in there to evade capture. How was it that in a castle this expansive, the only place to go was the Slytherin dungeons? The only thing Phoebe could think of it being was a strange plot device.  
  
Day looked over the map, "Ok, who knows their way around the dungeons the best? Unfortunately my skill lacks in that area of the castle."  
  
Phoebe slowly raised her hand and the others nodded, Day wiping the map clean. With a great sigh, Phoebe led them out of the records and down towards Slytherin. She had not been in Richard's body for two weeks and not know her way around.  
  
The dungeons were actually more intricate than most people thought. True to the era that the castle had been built in, there were passages to nowhere, bricks that turned to reveal secret ways, and many other ways. The dungeons were easily the easiest part of the castle to get lost in. The darkness of it and the lack of natural only made it more dangerous, allowing one to never know if it were day or night, and one lost would find that these two dimensions of time blurred together as white and black do to gray.  
It was also the creepiest part of the castle. In the dungeons, one could imagine screams of the past vibrating through, blood and torment of other misdeeds, the sobs of victims waiting for their time of suffering. The constant paranoia that fed on Phoebe's subconscious found it's creative haven in the dungeons of Hogwarts. Ah! That shadow looks like a monster!  
  
Day put a hand on Phoebe's shoulder gently. The ravenclaw knew all too well how paranoid that Gryffindor could be, letting her mind slip into the depths that writers like Edgar Allen Poe lived their lives in. She personally thought it was the coffee, but say that to Phoebe and you were assured to be slapped.  
  
"Hey Phoebe!"  
  
Phoebe yelped and nearly jumped into Day's arms at the sudden greeting. Her heart was racing and she glared at the new person, hissing.  
  
"MARCI! What the hell are you doing out of your house?! It's hardly safe and you nearly made me piss my pants!"  
  
The fourth year Slytherin laughed and held a finger over her mouth to indicate silence. She smiled at Phoebe, as if waiting to hear why they were out of bed. Phoebe just held up the file and Marci nodded, leading them deeper into the dungeons. Phoebe knew exactly where they were going, the Slytherin common room.  
  
When they arrived, it was late enough that no one was there. Phoebe had warmed up to the medieval charm of the dungeon common room. The decor of silver and green, along with the snake, charmed the room nicely. However, unlike the other common rooms, the Slytherins were never held in high esteem by other houses, or most teachers because of the negative connotation their name gave. So, because of this, the Slytherin common room held it's antique charm, because things were rarely replaced for lack of funds. It was usually the parents of the Slytherin's that replaced broken or worn down. The Slytherin's did not care, however, their pride gave them the honor of sitting where their foreslytherins had sat, the greatest of respect in their eyes.  
  
Marci smiled at them, "Now Phoebe, let's see why you're out at night to get into records."  
  
Cambria crossed her arms, "How'd you know that'd we'd be out?"  
  
Marci just giggled, "Well of course, Richard told me to, and I thought sneaking out would be quite a bit of fun, don't you?"  
  
Day laughed, "Well yeah, except you're in creepy central! I'm half expecting a vampire to jump out of every shadow!"  
  
Phoebe gave an involuntary flinch, "Could we not talk about things like that!"  
  
Cambria grins, "Why? It gets such a reaction out of you!"  
  
"Can we just get out of here as quickly as possible? This place gives me the creeps!"  
  
Marci just giggled slightly, "What's so wrong with it Bryan? I find it perfectly cozy."  
  
Truth be told, Phoebe now found the dungeon cozy as well. It was as restricting as most people thought it was. It had an ancient charm to it, one that sparked Phoebe's fantasies, as they often dwelled in the past. However, Day's words had done nothing to quell her paranoia.  
  
"Richard said that the best way for you to get back would be the Prefect's hall."  
  
Emily snapped her fingers, "Of course! Why didn't I think of it before?"  
  
"Think of what?"  
  
"Well Phoebe, there are certain halls throughout Hogwarts that only prefects and teachers have access to. You and Day wouldn't know of them since you two aren't ever out of trouble, so you were never made into prefects."  
  
"Well who would want to be a stuck up prick with a broom up their arse?" Phoebe grumbled. She had not had coffee in several hours and it was taking its toll.  
  
Emily pretended not to hear Phoebe and thought to herself. The Prefect Halls were never patrolled by teachers, though were used by prefects some times after hours. There would be a slim chance of someone seeing them. Also, the tunnel let out by the ravenclaw common room and then again by the Gryffindor. The easiest way would be to go to Ravenclaw, then just tell Phoebe and Cambria to just go straight. Hopefully no one else would meet with them and they would be safe in their own house.  
  
With a nod to herself, she explained the plan to her companions, Marci listening eagerly. She led them out of the Slytherin common room and back into the hall. The way had cleared, but they still wanted to be sure that they would get back without getting in trouble. As much as Phoebe loved detention, now was not the time.  
  
Emily walked up to a tapestry. Pushing it aside, she walked through the wall. The other three girls just blinked and did the same thing. It felt much like Platform 9 ¾. Phoebe still found it a bit of a queasy experience, but what was one to do?  
  
She looked around the hall. It was dank enough, just a long slim corridor made black by lack of windows, torches every so often so the prefects could see. And thus they began the long trudge back to the common rooms.  
  
Phoebe got back to the common room and pulled out a bit of parchment. Scribbling something quickly, she turned to Cambria.  
  
"I have a plan. We need Brigit, Emer, Lunette, and Sam."  
  
Cambria blinked, "But why do we need them?"  
  
Phoebe smirked, "Don't worry, it'll all fall into place."  
  
Arthur Notes: sorry for the wait!!! I had a bad case of block, but I have most of the fic planned out. There will be two more chapters. I hope you guys like this fic; I'll be working on two new chapter fics, possibly before even this one is finished! Anyways, if you do want something to happen before this fic ends, I might integrate it in. Like I did with Fred and George, and that part worked out so well, did it not? 


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